Military Life is not always cut and dry, but with the right attitude, it can be easy to navigate. Not everyone’s experience is the same. However, these tips can be used to help make your personal experience the best that it can be!
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Is Military Life Ever Easy???
It depends on who you ask. If you ask a spouse who has been navigating military life for almost twenty years, their answer is going to be vastly different from one who is still in their first contract. But don’t let anyone scare you. You need to know it can be easy if you have the right attitude.
Granted, there are a lot of factors that can change the difficulty level of your experience. Things like; do you have kids, what is your spouse’s job, do you have a job, do you live on base or off base? The list could go on forever. But to be quite honest with you all of those factors of where you’re living, if you have a family, etc., are just normal adulthood factors. You don’t have to be a military family to have to navigate those areas.
Really to answer the question, “Is Military Life ever easy?” only you can decide that. Everyone’s experience is different. Are you a glass-half-full or half-empty kind of person?
Easy or Not, Military Life Won’t Stop!
The show must go on! No matter how tough of a time, or easy of a time, you’re having, the military will ALWAYS keep functioning. IT’S THEIR JOB! Trust me, take it from someone who got married in 2020! (A story for another time.)
With all that said, the following tips listed below are intended to help you navigate Military Life a little easier!
1. Educate Yourself … not just about the Military!
Education can be VERY helpful to anyone. The more you know the easier it can be to make educated decisions, find a job, etc. As a military spouse, having an education that lends itself to remote positions is ideal. Since it’s well known that moving is a LARGE part of military life, remote jobs can make the spouse’s experience a lot less stressful.
Having the right education can be a game changer, especially for a spouse. Having a background in things like Cybersecurity, Technology, Medical Coding, Healthcare, accounting, etc. can be useful when looking for a new career that aligns with military life. A lot of technology positions can be remote, medical coding can be remote, and there is always a need for healthcare!
If you are a military spouse, know that you may be eligible for a grant that will pay for education, professional certifications, and more! You can apply for a scholarship through organizations like MyCAA and then use that funding to pay for short-term education courses. I have personally earned a scholarship through MedCerts which offers short-term training for healthcare and technology-based professional certifications. They have helped well over 50,000 people earn certifications and also have helped them earn higher-paid positions through their vast employer partner network!
I highly recommend checking them out if you are interested in any technical or healthcare certifications. The best part it’s all online and you can do it at your own pace! To Apply for classes with MedCerts check out this link!
2. Be Flexible … I don’t mean more yoga classes…
If you are someone who can’t ever veer away from the plan, this is going to be tough for you. Military life, as I stated before, is not always cut and dry, sometimes you have to think on your feet and make things work. One thing that you need to be aware of as a spouse is that plans will change, they will get canceled, and YOUR plan may never happen. It’s even more important to remember it’s not always in your service member’s control, so save your energy on that battle.
You need to approach this type of lifestyle with an open mind and the ability to be okay if you have to shift gears and use plan Z.
3. Find Your Own Hobbies / Do Your Own Thing!
Military life is not for the faint of heart. There are going to be plenty of times that your service member is not available to go somewhere, or maybe they are deployed, or in the field. You need to be comfortable doing your own thing and having your own interests. Try doing things like starting a blog, joining a sports team, volunteering, have game nights with friends, going to pottery classes, yoga classes, etc.
You have to remember the Military is not your normal 9-5 job, your service member is on call 24/7. So you cannot be dependent on your spouse, you have to live your life too! You can’t be afraid to date yourself. Trying implementing some self-care time. It’s always a great way to make sure your needs are met too!
4. Be 5 Steps Ahead… ALWAYS!
Like I’ve said before, plans will change. I highly recommend being five steps ahead or at least a couple of steps ahead, always! You can implement things like packing lists, schedules, family readiness binders, and anything else you can think of that would help you be proactive.
For example, when PCSing (Permanent Change in Station) to a new place some things you can do to be proactive are;
- Taking your own inventory and photos of all of your belongings, before and after the move.
- Having a list of the serial numbers of your items.
- Having very detailed descriptions and photos with the date and timestamps.
- Having a folder of the receipts of your items for things like a bed set or a couch etc.
Things like this can come in handy especially if you are using movers and are not doing a DIY move. Trust me the more documentation the better. Stay tuned for some future PCSing posts coming soon.
5. Independence is Not Just for July
It’s harsh but true. If you are someone who cannot be independent, you will struggle with Military life, it’s just that simple. Military life can be lonely at times, but learning to be independent can make a HUGE difference.
Try putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes, they would love to be home too. They would love to sleep in their comfy bed every night instead of on the ground somewhere miles and miles away. As a spouse myself, I understand the feeling of missing your service member, but you cannot stop your day-to-day life because your spouse is not there to hold your hand.
To be even more honest, it causes a lot of additional stress for the service member if they are aware that their spouse is struggling to cope and be independent. I highly encourage you to branch out and find those hobbies that make you happy. Try new food places and explore and do things on your own if you struggle to be independent. You should branch out while your spouse is there, so if they get deployed or put in the field, it’s a little easier to navigate on your own.
Military Life Can Be Challenging, But So Rewarding…
As you have probably concluded Military life can be challenging, but honestly, it’s so rewarding too. Think about it, as a military spouse, you get to experience a lot of things that others may not. No one else will get to experience that magical feeling when you reunite after deployment. Not everyone gets to be a part of a military community that just gets it. Other spouses don’t have the same pride the way a Military spouse does when they get to talk about how amazing their service member is.
No one else will get to be a part of the large team that I personally could ever think of. No one else will have the same type of appreciation for service members as military families do.
Final Thoughts…
Military life will challenge you in ways you would never think of. It will make you stronger, will teach you things you would have never learned otherwise, and it will bring you closer to those you lean on. This life will break you and make you all at the same time. Please remember to give yourself grace and know that you are never in it alone!
Do you have any tips or tricks for other military spouses? Do you know of any resources for other spouses to use? I would love to hear your feedback and any tips that you may have for navigating military life! Please do not hesitate to reach out if you need to, I’d love to hear your story! Until next time…
If you liked this post check out some of my others…
Surviving Deployment for Marines… Spouse Edition
11 Tips on Packing for a Military Move
5 Things to Know About On Base Housing
3 comments
I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post…
As a military spouse, how do you navigate the challenges of frequent moves, deployments, and the uncertainty of military life while still maintaining a sense of normalcy and stability for yourself and your family?”,
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Hi Ciara! I hope all is well. The biggest thing I can recommend is communication. If a military family does not have a solid foundation of communication anything you do will be hard. To create a sense of normalcy especially if you have kids, you can try to create fun “traditions” that you and your family do during those transition times. Making the moving road trips fun and stopping along the way treating it like an exciting thing. If you have little kids create a deployment wall, and establish a “normal” routine of writing a letter to the deployed parent, or doing a phone call (if possible) etc. You could also have your deployed spouse pre-record messages for big events that they may be missing or ones so if your babies are missing them, you can surprise them with those videos or recordings. Also, if your family is going through a big change make sure you stick to your normal routines too (bedtimes, family meals, sporting events, etc.) that in combination with the “New” fun things can help make that transition easier. The biggest thing that I can say though is that you and your spouse MUST be on the same page. If you both don’t have that solid foundation of communication and being on the same page, then the rest of your family will be affected. Speaking from experience, (my husband and I did 4 years of long-distance, two deployments, and moved 4 times etc.) to get the most out of living life with the military you need to use every move as a new opportunity and allow yourself to try new things and find new hobbies. I know it’s hard to go through a lot of change all the time, but it also keeps life exciting too. I personally would never have gotten to experience half of the things that I have if it wasn’t for the military and the curveballs that they’ve thrown our way! I will be straight forward though, not everything is rainbows and sunshine when it comes to the military lifestyle and the long nights of worrying and periods of time without seeing each other gets exhausting really fast. But the cool part is there are A LOT of other spouses out there that feel the exact same way, and sometimes you have to lean on them too. Noone else besides another military family will ever truly understand the life so finding your people that you can confide in especially when solo-parenting can be a HUGE help too! I hope this helps and I wish you the best! Please feel free to reach out anytime, I’m always here!