Ahhhhh, good ol’ deployment. Deployment for Marines can be interesting to say the least. I personally can only shed light on a Marine Corps deployment, however, all branches are welcome here.
Sacrifices…
As a girlfriend, fiancé, and now spouse, I can confidently tell you deployments are not for the faint-hearted. Contrary to popular belief, the significant other in a military relationship sacrifices just as much as the service member.
I’ve had the pleasure of navigating a deployment as a girlfriend, and as a fiancé, both had their separate challenges. If you’re looking for a post to tell you deployments are the easiest thing on the planet, you’re going to be looking for a long time. However, I am here to tell you that you can survive them.
Deployment for Marines is not like the Movies…
When most people think of deployments they think of Saving Private Ryan or other movies that paint this picture of letters back and forth every week and a homecoming of running into your service member’s arms at the end. But, honestly, that isn’t always real life.
Depending on your service member’s job, where they’re being deployed, and several other factors, will determine the amount of contact you will have with them.
So will I be able to contact them??
The answer isn’t super cut and dry. In most cases, at some point in the deployment, you will be able to have some sort of contact with your service member. However, as I stated before, it really just depends on their job and where they are going.
The first deployment my husband and I navigated, we were only dating for a little over a year. As you can imagine it definitely put our communication skills to the test. For about half of the deployment, I was able to message back and forth and sometimes facetime if he had Wi-Fi access. The other half of the deployment I had no contact for weeks or months at a time.
In my husband’s case, he traveled all around on a Meu (a very large ship). So when traveling by ship, there was no way to contact them. Sometimes there would be a small window of opportunity if he found Wi-Fi at a port, but that wasn’t always guaranteed. On the opposite side, I’ve had friends that have had contact with their spouse every day on deployment because they stayed in one place.
Enjoy what you have…
The best thing I can tell you about contact and communication is not to let your fears and concerns take over the conversations that you do get with your service members. Meaning, don’t sweat the small stuff and enjoy the conversations you do get to have with them.
Trust me your service member wants it to feel as normal as possible. Think about it, they are in a new place, with people they may not know, cultures they may not be familiar with, and I’m sure they have a little bit of fear (even if they never admit to it). Your voice, text, letter, package, etc. is probably the most comforting thing that they could have.
What should I know about Deployment for Marines?
- Know that you may have to give up sleep for a conversation…
- Be aware that there are SEVERAL resources that you can use as a spouse or family member…
- Know that your service member misses you just as much as you miss them…
- Be patient with your service member, especially if this is their first deployment…
- Have a plan for any possible life events that you know may occur during the deployment…
- Know that you are strong enough to weather the ups and downs…
- Don’t forget about yourself…
Like I said before, deployments are not easy for anyone, but you can make the best of every situation. As a significant other, use the time that your service member is away to work on things for yourself. Start that new project, go back to the gym, read your books, hang with your friends, and most importantly treat yourself with kindness.
Things to look out for…
Take it from someone who knows very well, not everyone knows what you’re going through. And that’s okay. I would be lying if I told you that you wouldn’t experience some moments where people say some things that don’t really sit well with you while your service member is away. There will be questions people ask that you just wish you could smack them in the face. There will be people who make comments that you just want to say “Eff off Karen!” But trust me you are not alone. Many military family members experience the exact same thing.
Something else to watch out for that no one tells you about is the phone bill… Since your service member is most likely overseas you have to watch out for roaming charges and extra charges like that on your phone bill. I HIGHLY suggest having your service member turn their phone to a “Wi-Fi Only” setting and communicating through apps like “What’s App” or something similar that are Wi-Fi only. Trust me you will crap your pants when you see an $800+ phone bill… Speaking from experience only.
Some simple suggestions to make Deployment bearable…
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes you’re going to need to vent, sometimes you’re going to feel alone, and sometimes you’re just going to be sad. That’s all one hundred percent normal!
Confide in family and friends if you can, reach out to the military sources that they have in place for family members (Military One Source, etc.), and take it one day at a time.
If you are someone who doesn’t have anyone around that is familiar with the military lifestyle, like I was, reach out to people on social media. Other military spouses or family members you may follow on social media most likely have been in your shoes. I reached out to a couple people I followed on Instagram and one of them actually turned out to be one of my lifelong best friends. Honestly, you can feel free to reach out to me as well. I may not have all the answers, but I’d be willing to share more and listen. Feel free to message me using my contact page or the box in the sidebar, I’d love to chat and help someone walking in similar shoes!
If you’ve gotten this far, I like to leave you one last thing…
THANK YOU! Thank you and your service member for sacrificing so much to keep us all safe. It’s not easy and I applaud you for everything you all do. I hope this post helps a little, and remember, I’m here if you need it!
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